Musings Regarding the Relationship of Sirius and Remus
by RedPandaDi
Summary: Nutshell: It's the year 1977 the Maurauders are in their 6th year and certain things start to come to fruition. Based on Sirius x Remus pairing so be warned! Let's face it, being 16 means having hormones. Shall we observe the magnetic pull between one Sirius Black and one Remus Lupin from friendship into the depths of something more?


**Disclaimer:** I am merely writing my own musings based off of the amazing Harry Potter universe created by J. K. Rowling. Pardon me.

**Setting:** Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Maurauders Era 6th year, 1977. Sirius age 17. Remus age 16. This is my first posting! So please forgive it's drabble tendencies. Perhaps it will blossom into a full-fledged story someday XD.

**Warnings**: I'm not drunk so no crack for this one. However know that there will be slash! Eventual SiriusxRemus pairing so if that's not your cup of tea, please turn around while you can! ;) Also talk of sexuality. Potential drinking/drugs in the future for kicks but not now. I don't want to accidentally corrupt :3

**PART 1**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**On Handwriting and Studying**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius enjoyed reading Remus's notes far more than reading those sodding assigned book pages anyway. In a practical sense, it was logical to refer to Remus' notes over the book. Remus could have re-written the books in a far more efficient and clarifying manner that most teachers would be envious of. In an unpractical and far more soppy sense, he loved feeling over the pages. The ones Moony had spent so much effort and concentration on. He could almost gather the passion by feeling with his fingertips the grooves of the quill on the old parchment that Remus made during his intense investment into academia. A writing style fast enough to contain his revelations must be steam lined and dark. Perfect. He would regard each letter as a way of getting to know Moony just that much better and prided himself in being able to distinguish his particular handwriting from any other. 'Something must be wrong with me' Sirius wondered at his own mind. He just found something so special about the smooth even waves of this half cursive half manuscript mash up and the hand that made it… At an even more subconscious level, Sirius was probably struck in amazement at the fact that this was once just parchment and is now evidence of a real tangible event. It would persist endlessly as the memory of a furiously transcribing Moony would fade except in his mind.

Yeah that's right. Sirius can do deep shit.

His own handwriting (much to his loathing) could not betray anything but aristocracy. The perfection, he was hard pressed to forget, was a product of grueling stick-finger-wapping lessons courtesy of some stranger who had been hired by his mother dearest who wouldn't be caught dead teaching her own damn children how to write. Heaven forbid she spent an ounce of effort on them. It's quality was one step short of calligraphy. What was surprising is that it didn't take Sirius one ounce of effort for him to do. It was automatic and far more difficult to undo. He hoped other aspects of his dark family hadn't ingrained themselves so absolutely and mindlessly into him as this stupid writing had. Sirius sighed and thought, 'Who am I to complain about being this fantastic all the time without trying? Even my writing exudes awesome.' a mental diversion that was successful in preventing his thoughts from falling into the abyss.

"Er Pads… you know if you're confused on something I'd be more than happy to clarify." Remus cautioned, growing concerned for his friends mental state only after maybe 5 minutes of witnessing his unregistered spacing out. He glanced up from his preferred floor position to his bed that Sirius had claimed. As per usual.

"Hm?" was the sound of Sirius snapping out of it about as well as one moves through Jell-O.

"I know the stipulations of re-written Goblin Laws aren't terribly interesting, but I don't think you've managed a single sentence. And it's not braille either; last I heard you couldn't absorb knowledge via fingertips."

"Oh you'd be surprised what can be learned via fingertips Moonykins" Sirius suggested with a raised eyebrow, "but who could resist a private tutor session offer from the one and only!"

"I wasn't exactly offer-"

Sirius's hearty laugh cut him off, "Now now I know you're dying to but really Moony, let's be practical, you have got that essay to finish" Remus gaped slightly and tilted his head in response "but we can play teacher student if you want to up here." Sirius shifted slightly and patted the spot on the bed grinning.

"I'll pretend you didn't put intentions into my head. I'll also remind you that that is _my_ bed you are inviting _me_ onto. And I believe it is you who is suggesting role play, not I." Remus pulled together as if calmly refuting a debate "Possibly as an excuse to hide that I'm right and you haven't learned squat yet."

"Don't deny that said intentions aren't in your Moony brain on their own." Sirius then sighed and flopped dramatically over the edge of the bed. "My charms mean nothing anymore! Is this how our marriage is turning out? Besides, I've 'absorbed' all the knowledge I need to it's all in here now." Sirius winked and tapped his temple from his now upside down position.

Remus's right lip corner quirked up at the absurdity of it all and at the similarities their daily banter did have to old married couples. "But how… Oh right. You know, you and your photographic memory can go shove it while us mortals study the real way."

"You know me: using as minimal effort as possible while obtaining maximal results. My super-mortal self will go bother Jamsey and Peter the common room now." Sirius gloated but soon softened, "make sure not to over work that genius mind of yours. I need a Moony at full capacity for The Pranking Hour." Sirius deftly backward rolled off the bed and squeezed Remus's shoulder on the way out and gave one last wink before he bowed out of the room never failing to make an dramatic entrance or exit.

They had begun designating an hour at night when they all were free of duties to dedicate towards pranking. Uncreatively dubbed 'The Pranking Hour'. Cause how else could four humans accomplish so much? Plus their creativity and sillyness usually reached a peak in the wee hours of the night.

"Right. Essay…" Remus would be lying if he said his shoulder wasn't still tingling for some unfathomable reason.

Sirius will one day develop a real twitching problem if he doesn't lay off all that winking Remus thought. That one eyebrow might get permanently stuck up as well. Remus reflected that he was completely glad to have his own study space now but also felt a bit amiss… The smell of the air wasn't quite right when lacking Padfoot scent. The affirmation that Sirius's constant comments had was comforting more than distracting. And he thought that all that mock flirting, though completely absurd, was a bit on. Even if it only fueled his thoughts involving 'what if's'. What if he has hopped on the bed too? What if they only just brushed shoulders? Would he indulge or berate himself for doing so? What if when he turned his head to answer a comment or laugh back and could catch the scent of breath? Could he linger with eyes for a second longer close enough to see the few faint freckles on Sirius's nose? What if indeed, what if my ass. 'What if's' might as well just be left alone because they will never get you anywhere in this land of reality and that is what Remus learned in lessons from life.

**PART 2**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**On Sexuality and Mental Battles**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SIRIUS:

There are some pressing questions in the world: If something seems right, what could be wrong about it? Why stop yourself from dreaming? Why impose any limitations on oneself because of fear, doubt, or morality?

These are things that Sirius Black did NOT contemplate.

Sirius considered himself to be an aesthete. One who appreciates beauty and it's expression in everyday life; in the expected and the unexpected. In this way, he could rarely say no to a romantic encounter for to say no would be closing off a potential experience. Which was a crime obviously. Much in this way he could not say no to almost _any_ exciting proposition. Even if such a thing (ie exciting prank) may land him in 3 weeks of detention. It was almost systematic for Sirius: in sexual experiences he was on an endless quest for beauty or perhaps where he thought he could find it. There is this legend, or so he hears, about unbridled passion and souls merging and what could be more fantastic! Such a depth he has not yet found but the prospect of it keeps him going even if he loses motivation sometimes.

Sirius enjoys discovering the side of someone that is never presented to the public world. Discovering the hidden side is more exciting than the person you are with in Sirius's eyes. Or at least more interesting than the people he has been with. People and all their quirks you can see on the outside have one secret puzzle that lies in sensuality, one puzzle that is left unsolved by many. He finds the taste of different people interesting by the sheer fact that they are different. Whether it is snogging or something more. Physical anticipation never diminishes if new experiences are always is how Sirius's mind operated. It was simple math.

With Sirius and sensuality was all positives. He had a great self-image, he had great physique, let's not forget fantastic hair, and he had gained skills through experience which all lead to increased confidence. He was working towards a flawless method of flirting and he had gained much EXP just in this last week towards 'the stare' closely followed by leveling up 'the wink'. He was enabled by a male physique which got off quite easily without much mental involvement. The satisfaction afterwards was another story that Sirius was at odds with...

Lets take a look at the statistics (don't be deterred!). Due to Sirius's outgoing and flirtatious nature, about 95% of the people who initiated relations of a sensual kind with Sirius at Hogwarts were female. Roughly 5% of those would be male due to chance and social stigma. Thus he had usually ended up breathing heavily eyes closed in empty classroom corners around dusk and twilight with females. In reality, Sirius found himself to be appreciative of everyone's being as long as they fit his "sexy standards". He would not prevent himself from staring at a male face if it was aesthetically appeasing. He enjoyed looking at all fit bodies. He never stopped his mind from wandering and he always indulged in 'what if's'. Had he heard of the term bisexual? Had he ever given it a lick of thought? Probably not.

REMUS:

Remember those aforementioned 'pressing questions in the world'?

These are things that Remus Lupin DID indeed contemplate.

He considered the weight of all actions. But this is the human condition that Remus was stuck perpetually in; one where the weight of every implication drew down ideas that were frivolous from the stratosphere and back down to earth. One could say that this is why he was an amazing logician, wonderful at predicting circumstance, a genius one might say. One thing Remus had never been able to 'logic' his was through was sex and sexuality.

Overall Remus considered himself to be a practical person. First of all he needed to maintain spotless grades if he any chance to succeed in this world given his… condition. Not only that but he loved studying. It could be said that sex was to some as learning was to Remus. It gave his life more meaning and when he learned something knew he didn't just stop there, he had to master it. It was a personal challenge, his personal quest. Nothing gave more pleasure to his being than discovering the secrets of a dusty old tome in a corner of the library. And he has been able to stay that way with his one true passion for a long time. Until his body began doing things that were utterly illogical.

The realm of sex Remus's experience was essentially zilch. People he could imagine himself possibly being 'attracted to' were that way because of their minds and not their bodies. He was fond of friends in study groups. He would feel awe if someone answered a question particularly well in class. He sometimes wondered if these were the people he was supposed to be attracted to… He never felt this way consistently towards anyone. Well with the exception of one Sirius Black. But that was his best friend. That feeling that made itself known occasionally in random people was present all the damn time with Sirius and Remus did not know what to make of it.

Of all the people that were likely to hit on Remus, statistically the real number of people that did were so few because of his non-flirtatious cordial attitude. The ones who tried were met with little success mostly because Remus was not looking for romance or did not detect their advances. To top it off Remus was comfortable around so few because of his need for secrecy for himself and to protect the knowledge of his… condition. His 'condition' actually being a reason to hide behind when really he was just quite hard to get close to. Furthermore he did not consider himself to be sexy, he had a moderate self-image, and he had no skills in sexual situations. His confidence wasn't necessarily low but he was no Cassanova.

The farthest Remus had gone was with himself. After all he did have basic human needs and desires, particularly desires in the morning after confusing and reluctantly hot dreams. His mind was often blank as he stroked himself with eyes closed and a slightly furrowed brow gasping occasionally with the goal of relieving himself. It was usually quiet and efficient, rarely did one occasion stand out from another. The times that did stand out occurred when he would think of things that he could not help. When certain images could not be pushed down. But he could NOT handle these musings right now, he probably had homework to do or something. So as always, Remus would push thoughts like these away from the foreground of his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**END.**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello all! This is not THE end it is just one end in a series of many ends. I think I will continue these musings who knows how far they will go. How was it? Confusing? Pleasing? Somewhere in between? Hopefully not too drab. Any suggestions for future events? Please let your voice be heard.

Ideas for the future: Remus and Life Lessons, Drinking Games with Sirius, Maurauders vs Weed, Sirius and Remus Initial Contact ;)

I am an avid Remus x Sirius fan and I would love to hear feedback! :D You know you want to so... REVIEW! Love you~


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